im livin for you...

2007-09-26T01:10:00.001+08:00

just realised that everything is changing. heck EVERYONE is changing even myself. time is passing just too fast! sigh.. im changing into a person that i have vowed all my life NOT to be.. but the thing is .. i cant help it!! ): sigh.. i think im becoming a cold heartless bastard, void of feelings. After that night, i learnt to put things behind me more easily than expected. and as time passes, i realised that it has become a bad habit. heh.. fuck. anyways.. im not as stressed as the JC kia's whose promos are around the corner, but im feeling the heat man. hahaha. ok time to sleep.. loooong day of lectures tmr.. nights!

And i was thinking of getting a UV tattoo of a cross on my forearm. Good idea? i dunno! lol

2007-06-27T02:40:00.001+08:00

hahahaha.. guess who's back people! decided to update my blog since i received soooo many complaints about it being not up to date.. okok.. here goes.. mmmm life's been pretty ok for me. im pretty happy with what i have right now. yeah poly's been good (though i screwed up my papers) LOL anyway.. yeah... i have decided to let nature take its course and make my decision about something important to me at the end of the year... haha.. and hopefully SP Squash will get second!! IVP's coming in 2 weeks time man.. nervous and i can hardly wait. (: okok thats about all i guess... i'll come back an update again when i have more time.. toodles!

2007-05-10T20:34:00.000+08:00

sigh.. im feeling emo again... and confused... really really very confused. im very afraid to tell you how i feel lest the same thing as before should happen again and i'll get hurt again. sigh.. but i can feel it returning. What i once felt for you, it's coming back. I guess another reason why im keeping this to myself is because i dont wanna spoil the amazing friendship we're having yeah. heh. oh wells.. i guess its time to let nature take it's course.. but it's gonna hurt i guess... heh.. oh wells... dinner calls! update soon...

2007-04-06T00:26:00.000+08:00

Hey im back after erm... a few months i think.. hhaha. yeah.. hmm just wanted to come today and bitch about something.

Have you ever realised how important something or someone is ONLY after you lose them? yeah well.. i just realised it. heh. I guess now it means nothing to you but yeah, I've always had this thing for you. Just didn't like showing it much.. guess its my fault huh? Should've let you know how special you were to me. Oh wellss.. this is it huh? At least we're still friends.. and i'll still be here to listen to all your troubles even though i wish it would be much more than that. Sigh im tired thinking about it already.. think ill go to bed early.. NIGHTS!

2007-02-01T01:13:00.000+08:00

hokay.. im here to blog again. haha! today was great had a great workout playing squash with the guys at JJC. Onn got hit in the face with a racket.. lol.. after squash, rushed down to pick Sam up and cabbed down all the way to Kallang to watch the ASEAN Championship finals.. SINGAPORE VS THAILAND!!.. well what can i say.. it was a great match. And for the first time i could see the Singapore spirit! haha.. thanks to Zeslene for saving us seats.. really appreciate it alot.. haha.. hope everyone had fun today.. k im really too tired to blog anymore.. NIGHTS!!

There's just something about you

Cheers!

2007-01-05T02:48:00.000+08:00

hello... HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERY ONE!!! (fine so im a few days late.. but who cares) haha ok... this is gonna be a new beginning and a fresh start for me... no more nonsense of last year okok... haha. ok... now time to get emo. sigh... reading my friends blogs made me realise what a lousy friend i have been... when they're hurting, i cant see it... i just realised how insensitive i used to be.. but this is all gonna change i promise.. yeah... i wont name names, but i read this girls blog... yeah and it was so sad it makes me guilty for not being a proper friend to her. gues i shuld apologise yeah.. oh wells im sorry... and to others out there who ive been insensitive towards and never considered ur feelings before i said anything., im sorry. i really am. and the best thing is----------- I'VE FINALLY MOVED ON! yay!! hhahaha now im just waiting for the right one to come... and with my focus now more on people who are more important to me and my sports, i guess its gonna take a long while... but i dont mind maiting as long as i get to bond with my mates!!!! hahaha aight im tired...

cheers

2006-12-20T03:14:00.000+08:00

OH MY GOSH!!! i just realised that im an 80's baby. Oh my goodness i feel old everytime i think about the kids im helping to coach.. lol.. okay hello im back to blog again... hmmm the past few weks have been pretty normal.. im pretty over the issue i talked about in the previous post.. yupp.. as one of my good friend said, life goes on! =) anyway... to the person i was talking to just now, remember what i said and dont be so upset over life.. life is seriously worth living. hee... SALUTATIONS to ryan chung who just came back from australia.. and erm praise God!!! hhahaha thats all i guess... cheers everbody!! =)

2006-12-06T02:12:00.000+08:00

i dont know. i seriously dont. im totally mixed up now. i guess im not totally over you yet... maybe i am. I DONT KNOW! WHY THE HELL DO I STILL FEEL THAT ACHING PAIN INSIDE EVERYTIME I THINK ABOUT YOU WHILE AT THE SAME TIME PART OF ME REFUSES TO CARE. EVERYTIME I THINK ABOUT YOU BEING WITH THE GUY YOU REALLY LIKE, IT REALLY CUTS ME DEEP. Everytime i see you.. i put on an act to let you see that im totally over it.. but i actually am not.. heh. i really wanna tell and show you how i feel.. but dare not for fear of scaring you off.. ARGGHHH. CAN SOMEONE ANSWER ME WHY! WHY THE HELL IS IT THAT WHOEVER WE LOVE ISN'T THE ONE THAT IS MEANT FOR US?!?!
sigh.. you've won. i cant take it anymore.. but bear this in mind you'll still be my very close friend no matter what. i wish you luck with whoever you go for now..

-beaten and frustrated-

2006-11-22T16:07:00.000+08:00

GRAD NIGHT WAS THE BOMB!! hahaha.... sigh im really gonna miss the whole class.. especially the people i've been hanging out with.. grad night really made me realise that my 2 years of education in Barker wasn't for nothing.. it really was worth something.. i gained more than what i had lost. i gained friends and most of all i gained memories. haha. Now as i look back, i really dunno what would have become of me if my friends weren't there. haha so THANKS GUYS FOR EVERYTHING, YOU HEAR! after i woke up.. i lay on my bed and thought about whats gonna happen in the near future. everythings gonna be so different and im definitely not gonig to be used to it. sigh. but oh wells life's like that.. you've gotta move on. and i guess we'll continue to meet up with each other. and remember guys.. WE ARE FROM ACS(Barker). AND WE ARE THE CLASS OF 2006! and i hope to see everyone of you guys again in one of our gatherings 10 years down the road.. hahah truth of the matter is that im gonna miss you guys alot so yeah... k gotta go eat now.. super hungry.. hahaha

and i don't know about it now
but i guess i will pretty soon when i see you again

2006-10-28T00:40:00.001+08:00

sigh okay im here to blog again... just to get something off my mind k? I have already told you the truth and nothing but the truth. whatever i told you that day was really what happened.. but if by chance you still dont believe me.. theres nothing i can do. I for one really dont wanna lose your friendship over a girl.. i think its stupid and childish to fight over a misunderstanding. You can think whatever you want to.. but as for me, my conscience is clear. You may not understand me that well but who i am is who i am and i cant change that about myself.. im sorry if it pisses you and someone else off but its gonna be really hard to change even if i wanted to.. but if its gonna make u trust me again ill do it.. yeah.. and THAT'S a promise i'll make and keep.
But the rest is all up to you..

HOKAYS!! im done... sigh.. Os in 9 days time.. been studying.. but i dunno man. feel like i haven't done much the past few days.. im very very worried. but oh wells.. yeah anyway.. WHY is everything about relationships right now? even my best friend is in a dilemma now... oh wells.. sigh.. life just sucks sometimes.. but i'll continue praying for you guys to get out of it.. better go sleep or something.. nights..

-cheers mate-

2006-10-28T00:40:00.000+08:00

2006-10-22T01:46:00.000+08:00

hello hello.. been quite long since i posted.. i was too lazy actually.. haha oh wells. Past few days have been very very very VERY unproductive for me... been slacking too much.. but with the Os coming in 2 weeks time.. im seriously becoming damn damn scared. heh. first time im ever afraid of exams.. quite surprising.. lol oh wells... i think ill not post anymore until after Os yeah?aight ive got to go.. nights everyone..

-cheers guys-

2006-10-15T01:09:00.000+08:00

sigh.. dont feel like posting today but nevermind. k went to CJC ACJC AND SAJC openhouse today. haha, had a great time with the Brotherhood. and i guess im a really confused guy.. dunno what i want at all... now theres 2. and i cant decide.. heh.. anyway heres some lyrics,..

OH OH i feel very inspired to learn more freestyle football. and as leong said practice makes perfect.. haha so.. we shall see whose better leong. hahaha

MY SACRIFICE

Hello my friend we meet again
Its been a while where should
We begin... seems like forever
Within my heart are memories
Of perfect love that you gave to me
I remember.

When you are with me
Im free... im careless.. i believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice.

We've seen our share of ups and downs
Oh how quickly life can urn around
In an instant
It feels so good to reunite
Within yourself and within your mind
Lets find peace there.

When you are with me
Im free... im careless.. i believe
Above all the others we'll fly
This brings tears to my eyes
My sacrifice

I just want to say hello again

2006-10-14T01:32:00.000+08:00

heya.. today was the last day of school.. quite sad la... i mean after all the 2 years i spend with the guys in class, after this it just wont be the same.. sighh.. im alreadi missing u guys man.. anyway.. today was great.. went to school.. halfway through school got bored so i walked out of school with peter to get a book..hahaha.. and went to hwa chong open house.. which was pretty..dull -.- lol

k so anyway after that went to creamery to meet bryan tan and Cal. haha went back to school later for a mock exam. let me tell u what happened.. i looked at the paper.. did the first sum.. tried for the second and third.. and went to sleep in the end.. i just couldnt be bothered.. lol not very good bryan, not very good.. heh.. k. so we went to holland v for dinner together.. me, cal, marc, ian chew, bryan tan and cephas.. haha

All in all today was a great day to end the year of friendship together.. hahaha.. had a lot of fun today.. yeah anyway we should do this more often guys after our Os. aight im tired nights people.

-cheers guys-

2006-10-12T00:11:00.000+08:00

okay!! hey everybody! guess whose back! hahaha... yeah ive been in a very good mood today and i have no friggin idea why.. lol. k so anyway.. today was great.. ponned scool today met up with the 4B3 gang to go kap study.. yeah.. i just realised one thing.. kap is a good place to do maths! but has a very sucked up environment for studying..hehe. k so anyway saw quite a few people i haven't talked to for quite some time.. people like miss tan eemin! hahahaha my pal.. yeah.. k so went home to study after leaving... i just did 1 page of geog before i zonked out on my table..then continuned studying till the night.. had the mood for squash so went down to hit for a while.. and.. MY STROKES ARE FRIGGING ATROCIOUS! :( sigh.. k anyway im jealous.. all the sec 3s have finished exams.. heck everyone has finished exams except us.. i totally hate sec 4 life man... cant wait for Os to end man.. ill probably go crazy or something.. alright im super tired.. gonna bed now.. zzzzzzzzz

-cheers guys-

2006-10-09T23:57:00.000+08:00

To the girl:
i thought i was over you... hell i know im over you but why does my heart break everytime i think of you? why do i feel sad and hurt everytime i hear your name or anything about you? you told me that we were not to be and i understood and accepted it.. you said we could still be friends and i agreed to be always there for you should you ever need me. i treat u more than a friend even now but why must you treat me like that? i dont deserve it.. heck ive done nothing to you to deserve this shit. ive always been the first to hear ur problems. ive always been there to cheer you up when you were down. been supporting you with all my heart and soul... heh, apparently its not worth it is it? you dont even treat me like a friend now. you think you are but your actually treating me like some stranger who your trying to avoid. im really disappointed in you girl. just remember you would still be the insecure person after having your feelings played out had i not been there to support you. im very disappointed girl,very.

To the guy:
i thought you were my best friend. always being there for each other.. but after these past few months.. bro u changed a hell lot.. heck i dont know you anymore. that was until i heard about some rumours about me liking your girl. i was kinda surprised but all the same i kept quiet till i couldnt take it anymore. that night i told u to meet me and i told u straight in the face everything that i kept in my heart about the rumours. i thought that it was all over after the incident. heh, but fat hope it was still the same. you still being the changed person that i dont know anymore. i have no idea why you keep acting like your trying to avoid me but through these few months i've come to realise one thing, and that is all these wouldnt have happened if you did actually trust me. im kinda hurt by it all. It isnt really fun going to school and seeing you acting that way. and honestly thats one of the reasons why i've not been going. i just didnt wanna see the way u were acting. Its really disappointing to see you acting this way towards me when i've done nothing wrong towards you. You didnt like me smoking so i stopped for your sake as well as for Cal's. As far as im concerned, i havent done anything wrong towards you so my conscience is clear. If you still wanna treat me the way you are, i really cant stop you. All i've gotta say is.. man ill still treat you as my pal no matter what. but if your distrust of me carries on our friendship with each other will be gone down the drain. If it makes you happy, hell, ill even stop being your friend. So bro, just think about it ok?

Okay all that was my feelings straight and honestly true from my heart. i hope those people im talking about are reading this. cuz its really hurting to be treated that way, yeah. You guys know who you are and i dont wanna say so i shall not name any names. Anyway today's been an extremely long day and im very tired.. shall post tmr. nights.

-cheers guys-

2006-10-09T01:09:00.000+08:00

okay here goes...today was the most tiring day in the whole week. slept at 3 the night before and woke up at 8 plus...went to church could barely stay awake in it. had a great lunch wif my mom and godfather, the first time in a long while. haha love you mom! :) anyway.. once i got home i played squash from 2-6 plus.. tt samuel wong ah.. haha made me run like hell but i made him run too! haha but in the end i died in court. as usual thanks to the extra luggage on my tummy. sigh im just waiting for the time to get rid of it la! haha came back home to study and fell asleep on my geog book.. stupid boring geog. haha.. yeah oh wells... i was talking to cal an hour ago.. and it made me realise something.. im really glad to come to acs barker. this school really made me value the friends that i have and im really glad to have all of them.. i wouldnt be where i was w/o their support and stuff.. it just wont be the same after we graduate. ill miss all the fun times we had and the crazy things we do in class..pissing the teachers off making a fool of them in class... haha yeah so.. guys thanks for everything yeah? im really grateful for everything and i wanna say thanks. thanks for being my friends =)

-cheers guys-

2006-10-08T01:46:00.000+08:00

alright.. today has been a really unproductive day of studying...lol.. anyway went to play soccer today with Ian chew at CCAB and my goodness the haze is seriously damn bad.. stupid forest fires.. oh wells looks like we just have to live with it. And i just realised that there are 20 plus days to Os... SHIT.. =( the stupid Os are screwing up my social life.. =( im practically dying of boredom everyday sitting at my study table and study study study study STUDY! arggh.im getting pissed off by the thought of it.. heh but no choice cuz as everyone says, "its for your future boy" k anyway tmr playing squash with sam onn and jj after church so i better get a good rest.. haha aight nights..

-CHEERS GUYS-

2006-10-06T01:24:00.000+08:00

zzzz.. k my first post..haha.. okay anyway wassuupp people... doing this at 1+ in the morning after mugging my ass off the whole day.. yeah well.. thanks shi hui for helping to choose.k anyway im off to sleep...zzzzzzzzzzzz

-cheers guys-